I have a friend who enjoys Superman. I guess he doesn’t know that Superman is a pussy. If nothing could hurt me, I’d be sanctimonous like Superman. I’d stand around with my hands on my hips, too, like Lee Marvin picking up sailors. Mostly, I’d complain that Lois can’t generate enough super-suction to perform a half-decent super blow-job. Or I’d say, “Fuck this Lex Luthor shit,” and toss his bald butt into orbit. Wait, no I wouldn’t. I’d be Superman, and I’d be a pussy. So rather than frying Lex with my lazer eyes, I’ll just turn a super cheek while Lex Corp develops Kryptonite anal beads for my BSDM pleasure.

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