Transmission intercepted by an old Soviet satellite re-intercepted by Angry Czeck’s illegal radio dish stationed on the coast of Hawaii.

(Voice believed to be) JOE BIDEN: We’re all going to die!
(Voice believed to be) BARACK OBAMA: Calm down, Joe. Can’t you see I’m smoking cigarettes?

JB: You’re always smoking cigarettes! We have a crisis here!

BO: The Healthcare Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The North Korean Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Iraq War Crisis?
JB: No
BO: The Afghanistan War Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Automaker Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Banking Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Iranian Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Mexican Drug War Crisis
JB: No.

BO: Then what? For God’s sake, what, man?

JB: The Economic Crisis! The Stimulus isn’t working.

BO: Says you.

JB: Says everybody, Barack! We’re looking at Carter-like unemployment numbers here! The only thing the Stimulus has stimulated is Newt Gingrich.

BO: Dude has three wives. Newt needs stimulation.

JB: What are we going to do? We’re all gonna die!

BO: First, I’m going to whup your ass.

(10 minutes of beat-down)

BO: Now try to listen as you regain consciousness, Biden. I got a lot of ass to kick and only two feet to kick them with. You say the Stimulus isn’t working? Put it in the In-Box. Now fish me out another Camel.

(Voice believed to be) ROBERT GATES: The reanimated corpse of Michael Jackson is destroying Los Angeles! We’re all gonna die!

BO: Put it in the In-Box.

* What a terrific picture of President Obama checking out that girl’s ass at the G-8 this week. He’s human afterall.

**

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