Transmission intercepted by an old Soviet satellite re-intercepted by Angry Czeck’s illegal radio dish stationed on the coast of Hawaii.
(Voice believed to be) JOE BIDEN: We’re all going to die!
(Voice believed to be) BARACK OBAMA: Calm down, Joe. Can’t you see I’m smoking cigarettes?
JB: You’re always smoking cigarettes! We have a crisis here!
BO: The Healthcare Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The North Korean Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Iraq War Crisis?
JB: No
BO: The Afghanistan War Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Automaker Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Banking Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Iranian Crisis?
JB: No.
BO: The Mexican Drug War Crisis
JB: No.
BO: Then what? For God’s sake, what, man?
JB: The Economic Crisis! The Stimulus isn’t working.
BO: Says you.
JB: Says everybody, Barack! We’re looking at Carter-like unemployment numbers here! The only thing the Stimulus has stimulated is Newt Gingrich.
BO: Dude has three wives. Newt needs stimulation.
JB: What are we going to do? We’re all gonna die!
BO: First, I’m going to whup your ass.
(10 minutes of beat-down)
BO: Now try to listen as you regain consciousness, Biden. I got a lot of ass to kick and only two feet to kick them with. You say the Stimulus isn’t working? Put it in the In-Box. Now fish me out another Camel.
(Voice believed to be) ROBERT GATES: The reanimated corpse of Michael Jackson is destroying Los Angeles! We’re all gonna die!
BO: Put it in the In-Box.
* What a terrific picture of President Obama checking out that girl’s ass at the G-8 this week. He’s human afterall.
**
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