This was going to be a post entitled “10 Reasons Why The New Star Wars Movie is Going to Suck Big Rocks”* but instead of pissing everybody off, I decided to write about racism.

I, for one, am not racist, because I know black people. Lots of black people. Some even friend me on Facebook! Also, I was born in Illinois which, as you mostly likely know, is the “Land of Lincoln” as in Abraham Lincoln, who single-handedly destroyed slavery. Furthermore, I’ve voted for Barack Obama not once, but twice, and not just because I’m a Democrat. One time, I attended a service at a predominately African-American church. Talk about an experience!

So, definitely not racist.

Except, there was this one time, at night, at Walgreens, when I was picking up some ibuprofen, a young black man entered the store and immediately approached the counter and I was like “Oh shit he’s going to pull a pistol and rob the Walgreens!” and I tensed up like, I dunno, maybe I was going to tackle the dude or maybe dive for cover behind the discounted DVD display because who walks into a Walgreens and immediately goes to the cash register except to rob it?

Turns out, the man just wanted cigarettes, which are sold behind the counter. I watched him buy his cigarettes and disappear into the evening. Later, I sat in the parking lot, behind the wheel of my car, and contemplated what had just happened. I didn’t have to contemplate long because I knew what had just happened. So I drove home and watched SportsCenter.

 

 

**

 

* Remember the last time we saw an elderly Harrison Ford reprise a beloved George Lucas character? Yeah, you do, and it sucked big rocks. You have been warned.

 

 

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