The Angry Czeck

Most nancy-man travel blogs feature posts about limp-wristed ports of call, like Branson or Destin. Well, eat this, travel snob! You’re getting a country helping of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. But don’t bother visiting Gatlinburg, bitches. Not without proper papers, anyway. The Angry Czeck has already conquered it, annexing the Smoky Mountain town to an already cowering [...]

Many of you may have an image of the Angry Czeck as an ever vigilant force chained by obligation to his keyboard, pounding out discords of anger on his Macintosh as the shadows of time cross his grizzled (yet handsomely chisled) visage. Fools. Unlike most of you, who only move at the atomic level, the [...]

(Transmission intercepted by a Russian spy satellite) DICK: Good morning, George. Enough chit-chat. Let’s get down to brass tacks! GEORGE: Dick? What are you doing in here? I’m trying to make love to my wife! DICK: Shut up. Put a pillow over her head. I don’t want her hearing this. GEORGE: Okay. DICK: What are [...]

The other night, the journalistic resting home that is 60 Minutes aired a story concerning the video game Grand Theft Auto and its supposed link to a multiple murder in Alabama. Having had some experience with Grand Theft Auto, my wife and I invested fifteen minutes of our lives with Ed Bradley, who joins Harrison [...]

(Voice believed to be) JACKSON, MICHAEL: Hey, you guys have enough Jesus Juice? Sure? Just checking, ya’ll. I know tonight’s a school night, but I appreciate your parents dropping you off. I haven’t had a Pillow Party in two months! Feel my pajamas. So soft. Feel them right…here. Everybody is wondering how I got off. [...]